The Biggest Thing I Learned From Being The Kid Of Teenagers

I went back and forth on whether or not I was going to write this blog. It's deep and personal.

There was a long time when I kept it a secret. I didn't tell people the ages of my parents. When I was in middle school that was when I began to realize how different my parents were.

I remember one moment in math class in 7th grade, a group of us were talking about the ages of our parents. Their parents were all in their 30's, some in their 40's... My parents were in their 20's still. There were audible gasps... First, because I actually spoke, and there were people who didn't know I could and second because they couldn't even grasp how someone's parents could be 28.

But having parents as young as I did shaped a lot of my life. A lot of my values, perspectives, my limiting beliefs, all of it.

What I have found, after spending a lot of time on social media, is there are a lot of teen moms on the internet telling their stories, talking about how their kids saved them, talking about the hardships, the excitement, the love, the pain.

But I haven't seen anyone stepping forward talking about their story as a child of teen parents, but think about it... If there are all these teen moms coming up and sharing their stories, there have to be at least that many kids of teen parents floating around.

I'd love to hear other stories, but until then, I'm going to share mine and hope that it can help encourage others.

I haven't always loved having young parents. There were moments when it seemed hard and unfair; there were fights, early growing up, and so much pressure. As a kid, I couldn't see past how I felt and how I felt was completely valid, but at that time, I was unable to see the lessons.

I heard once that if you didn't have a messy background, if you had a simple and easy upbringing, if you wanted for nothing, if your life wasn't hard, then you don't have a story to tell. I was also told that your story is how you connect with people, with potential clients so you sort of need that hard background.

Now, as an adult, I am so grateful for the experiences I had; I'm so grateful I have a story.

So what is the one big lesson I learned from having teenage parents, that you've been waiting so patiently to hear?

I learned that life is a gift. The challenges, the failures, the hardships but also the love, the lessons, and the joy.

You don't take things for granted.

You persevere.

When things get hard you don't give up, you try again and again and again. You try it in different ways, you invent things, but you never give up.

As an adult, I came to realize how incredible it is that I am here. I used to think I was an accident but then I realized that all the cards had to align for me to make it here.

Two young kids had to make a multitude of decisions for me to be standing here. They had to decide that they wanted to do the deed, at such a young age, they had to decide to carry out the pregnancy, they had to decide when and how to tell their parents (or, in my mom's case, guardians), they had to decide to keep me and raise me instead of putting me up for adoption, they had to decide every day how to co-exist together in ways where my health and safety were met. As children, they had to make life work. They had to fight for their rights.

When adults have kids, there is a lot less against them than when kids have kids.

When kids have kids, the world is against them. The world tells them what they did was wrong, it was a mistake, it'll ruin their lives, they'll be a burden to their families and to the world. They're told of all the things they won't accomplish and how hard life will be.

Trust me, I sat through those sex-ed classes where I had to listen to teachers say these things. "When you have sex as a teenager, you could get pregnant and then......" They would list off all the hardships, stating how it'll "ruin your life." That was repeated again and again. Can you guess what I grew up believing about myself?

But despite all of it, as an adult, I now view life as a gift.

There are a million reasons why I "shouldn't" be on this Earth and a million ways where I easily may not have been had my parents made even one tiny choice in the other direction.

There was never a guarantee that I was going to be born or that I was going to be allowed to be raised by my parents. So I know, that I have so much to be grateful for.

Life is hard, yes, but life is not guaranteed, it is not just a given. 

So now (I haven't always), I live every day knowing that I am blessed to be alive, I am blessed to have grown up with my actual parents (which is a privilege I acknowledge I have because I am white), I am blessed to have graduated from both high school and university despite having to fight my way through both and going into huge debt, I am blessed to have a loving husband and a business I love.

One small decision and I could have never existed.

I vow to spend every day of my life in gratitude because it is not a given.

This is one of the things that makes me different... And I couldn't be happier about it.

Sarah and her mom (who was a teen mom) laughing together on Sarah’s wedding day

Is there a part of my story that you relate to? Send me an email at hello@skecreativemedia.com and let me know!