What’s the number one key to habit change?

When we think of habit change, we often think of the habits themselves; how to track them and strategies that relate directly to the habit.

But in all of the books I have read, they say that the research shows that the number one key to habit change actually has nothing to do with the actual habits you select.

Now, before I dive into the actual key to habit change, I'm going to take a step back and cover an important topic.

How can habits work with recovery from ED, addiction, mental illness, etc.?

When we think of disordered health habits, it seems counterintuitive to invest so much time into the concept of habit change. It seems like tracking habits and following the processes might end up leading to obsessions and unhealthy relationships.

But here's the thing. I don't really track things.

I don't have a food journal, I don't weigh myself, nothing.

For me, it's simply a yes or blank.

If I did it, then awesome. If I didn't, I don't need to acknowledge it. But I do celebrate when I do it.

I also am very careful when I select new habits.

I only want to select ones that are positive and help me form healthy relationships with health and wellness. For instance, I don't strive to exercise for weight loss. I strive to exercise because I love it, it makes my body feel good, it helps me cope with my ADHD symptoms and I know it's something that will help extend my life expectancy.

I focus on those concepts and on keeping things fun. It's up to me to monitor my thoughts.

Because the thing is, I can't keep myself away from all my triggers. If I tried, then I would end up going back to not eating, and then I wouldn't exercise either. It's not about never doing those things it's about building new associations with those things and doing what I need to succeed in them.

But here's the thing, again, the actual habits themselves are secondary to the big key to habit change.

From all the books I've read and courses I've taken, the actual key to habit change is your identity.

Yup, that's right.

The key to building lasting habits is focusing on creating a new identity first. Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a mirror image of the type of person you believe that you are (either consciously or subconsciously).

To change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself. You need to build identity-based habits.

~James Clear, Atomic Habits

This was a game-changer for me. I always believed I was defined by my mental health, which included my ED, my OCD, my ADHD, and the countless other letters that I came with.

Now I realize those don't define me they are just a fraction of me. I control who I am, which means YOU control who you are.

If you want to be the kind of person who is reliable and that people love to be around then your habits need to reflect that.

You can't change your habits if your new habits don't reflect the person you are (or are striving to be).  If you believe that you're unreliable, that is how you're going to show up. You won't be the kind of person who follows through or keeps their promise. But if you change your identity and start identifying as the kind of person who is reliable, then your habits can change to reflect that.

The more you show up positively and reliably, the more you reinforce the idea that you are a reliable person.

Do you see how that works?

You choose who you are, then you select habits that reflect that kind of person, how they would act, how they would show up, how they would think, what others think of them. Then, every time you show up as that identity, your brain checks the box for being that person, and eventually, your brain says, "Yup, you're XYZ."

So deciding on your identity is step number one when it comes to habit change. The habits themselves actually come after, and the habits you choose are less critical than the identity itself.

You might say "I am an active person" as your identity. One person might then add hiking and walking as habits to meet that identity type, while you might add strength training 3 times a week as a habit to meet that identity. Both of those habits lead to the same result in your brain.

So here's your challenge this week. If you want to engage in habit change, first ask yourself, "What is the identity that I would like to be?" Then the habits fall into place from there.