Pain and negativity are both processed in the same location and feel the same in the brain and the body. Being hypersensitive to pain and negativity helped humans survive. Positivity and a sunny disposition didn't save their life when they ran into a threat in the wild.
However, since we are no longer running around the wild with the threat of rabid animals attacking us this may not be as much of an evolutionary advantage. Sure we still need to try to avoid pain and death but we also have to live.
Negative emotions are processed in the part of the brain called the amygdala, which is located right smack in the middle of the brain in front of the hippocampus (responsible for memory formation).
The amygdala processes pain, emotions, and memories associated with fear. It is connected to the pre-frontal cortex through neurons and is responsible for planning, sequencing, and logical thinking.
This is a pretty good mix because the pain and emotions that the amygdala is responsible for often needs to be put into perspective by something that is straight-up logic.
However, this doesn't always happen properly.
Anything can influence the development of neuron connections throughout the brain. Even one really traumatic event can convince the brain to focus on that event as a threat. For example, I was in a car accident a couple of years ago, it was raining and I was on the highway. I flew backwards across the highway into a ditch. Now every time it rains I can't drive on the highway because I wind up having panic attacks.
It doesn't matter how many times I seem to have a positive experience on the road that one moment has left me with years of being overly afraid of the highway when it's raining. Even if someone else is driving.
Someone with ADHD potentially has a smaller Amygdala or a poor neural connection to the pre-frontal cortex. In other words, there is less space for processing emotions and with weaker connections that means that you are forming memories and feeling negative emotions without your logic centre helping you sift through those feelings and process them reasonably.
If you have ADHD, have you ever considered yourself extra sensitive, very emotional, volatile, etc.? This might be why. You experience and feel emotions without having them run as effectively through the logic centre of the brain.
Makes sense right?!
But there has to be a way to help train our brains to focus more on positivity right? Not everyone runs around only with a negative lens.
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We need to start from the inside out. We need to deal with the way we think.
How we speak to ourselves plays a massive role. Remember, our thoughts create our reality. Our thoughts lead to our behaviours.
At the end of the day, you can "fake it till you make it" all you want but if you're not dealing with your internal thoughts and processes and getting down to the why of your thoughts you're going to stay stuck.
Do an inventory of your thoughts. Why do you think the way you do? What event caused that thought to occur? What even is the thought? Sometimes we fear things or act a certain way on impulse or subconsciously and we don't even know why or where it came from.
When something happens (especially things that are negative, cause fear, or are traumatic) don't let them just pass by. Don't just cover up the feelings and move on. If you do that you may think you're so good, so calm, so collected but you may not realize that those thoughts still dictate the way you behave and go about your life.
Everything you do, all the decisions you make, the way you view the world will all be shaped and tainted by that emotion and if you keep it inside you will always be like that. And chances are if you hold in the negative emotions you may also hold in the good ones instead of feeling them.
Talk yourself through your experience, remind yourself of the reality (eg. "it just happened that one time, not everyone is like that"), and purposefully look for positive things so you can start to rewire your brain to see things more positively. Find the good or the thing to be grateful for.
You've probably heard you are the combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with? Well, it's true. So make sure you choose them wisely.
How hard do you think it will be if you spend time with 5 people who are super negative, never see the good in things, and only want to hurt others? You may not realize it but you'll start to think just like them.
Choosing to surround yourself (both in person and virtually) with positive people, people who value what you do, who think like you or the way you want to think will help you begin to see things with a more positive lens and remind you of what you have to be grateful for.
There are many little tricks you can use to help increase your ability to see things more positively and I highly recommend finding ways that work for you.
I read positive self-help books, gratitude journal, make mental notes of beautiful things in my head, and when I'm about to judge someone else I come up with a compliment in my head for them instead, etc.
Find what works for you and do it. There are so many reasons we need to be more positive and it extends far beyond just for you.
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