How I'm Training For A Half Marathon After a 9 Year Break

So, recently I decided, after being asked by a friend, to run a half-marathon in September. Boom just dropped that mic.

To put it in perspective, the last time I ran a half-marathon I was 9 years younger, 55lbs lighter, and hadn't been injured in a car accident.

I've run since then for sure. I've even done a couple of races (mostly 5k's and a couple of 10's) but definitely nothing longer than that.

I'm not going to lie to you, I am nervous.

Currently, I feel out of shape (even though I'm not) and like I'm dragging myself along, my shins hurt, I'm always hungry, and there is a little voice in my head that honestly doesn't think I can do it. It says "you're tired after 5km's and you think you can run 21km's?"

Training for this half-marathon is going to be different than last time.

Last time I had an eating disorder and was barely getting by, I over-exercised but mostly just was using exercise as punishment, I would take my measurements more than four or five times a day, I had no proper program I just ran all the time, and I definitely didn't have any stress management or mindset tools.

Here's what I'm going to do differently this time:

1. Focusing on having a good relationship with food and exercise

I did not have this last time. I thought if I ate food it would stop me from losing weight or getting bigger than I was. I exercised because I was punishing myself for not being skinnier and it felt like I had to do it so I wouldn't get "fat."

I didn't do it because I enjoyed it or I wanted to be healthy. I had this illusion of health that was associated with being skinny, which was something I never thought I had reached even at my smallest.

This time around I am ensuring that I am forming good relationships with both. I eat the foods I love and that fuel me. Foods that I feel good about eating. I am also keeping track of how I'm feeling about exercise. I'm going to do the activities that I enjoy, that I have fun doing, and that I feel good doing.

Aside from all the programs and food theory my first priority and my guiding force is the enjoyment piece. Once I stop enjoying what I'm doing then I create a new goal. I'd love to be able to run this half-marathon but if I stop enjoying running and training before I get there then I know that my mental state and true health always come first.

2. Properly fueling my body and sticking to a program

This time around I know that I need to eat more and properly. I've upped my training so that means I up the food and potentially eat a little differently. Last time, as I mentioned above, I ate virtually nothing. I lived off of berries and greek yogurt, apples & peanut butter, and tortilla chips with greek yogurt and coffee. After eating I'd go exercise it off and heaven forbid I ate something outside of this and I would have to exercise harder.

But now I know that in order to see real progress and results, especially as an almost 30 with an injury I need to fuel properly. Instead of thinking of food as the enemy, I am now thinking of it as the thing that helps me see the best results.

I am also implementing a training schedule and program. I have everything written down and then I also record what I'm doing in an app. I'm focusing on a combination of the BeachBody program 30 Day Breakaway, their running program, and instructions from my good friend who is an avid marathon runner.

I'm focusing on having active days and not just workouts. I'm also focusing on enjoyment. I like having a program or a schedule because it allows me to stay focused and not go overboard. I can definitely change things up but I am much less likely to do too much when I am following a plan.

3. Incorporating mindset and stress management tools.

This was a piece I never had before. I never focused on my mind, rich coming from someone who was studying psychology at the time. But I had some pretty crazy mental health stuff going on. It was around that time that I went to seek out a therapist and was diagnosed with Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and OCD and was prescribed mood stabilizers.

I hated those after only a couple of days and took them back to the pharmacy. Knowing what I know now, moods stabilizers were not what was appropriate. I have refused mental health medication ever since.

My friends stopped coming over because they were "afraid to touch anything" for fear of messing it up and me getting upset, I was so afraid I would be late for school that despite the bus stop being on my driveway I would always take 2 buses too early to get to class. I would only leave my house for school, work, errands and exercise and so on.

Because of my unhealthy relationship with exercise, it wasn't even helping my depression. That did eventually change and now it is a huge contributor to decreasing my symptoms.

But this time around I am really focusing on mindset and stress management. I am meditating every day, I am reading daily, I am journaling, I am doing rituals, I'll be incorporating self-reiki and more. This is going to be a game-changer.

4. Focusing on Slow Living principles

This was something I implemented at the start of this year. I had never thought of slowing down as a way of being more productive but it's really working.

I have always been a hustle kind of person. I always attached my value as a person to how much I did or what I accomplished and my worth was defined from comments from others. Receiving constructive feedback was devastating.

But despite adding in the program and focusing on preparing as best I can for the September race I am still ensuring I hold the values of slow living. I am setting aside time for a morning and nighttime routine, I am taking lots of breaks throughout the day, I am slowing down when I eat, I am trying to take mindful moments.

I am determined to be more present this time around. Last time, I did the half-marathon because I "had to" it felt like I needed to have that accomplishment as just another reason I was good but I never was fully present in any of the moments, including the race. It feels like it was a blur.

This time I will be present and grateful for each moment. It is a blessing to be able to run this race and an honour to be able to do it on the beautiful Indigenous traditional territory of the Songhees Nation. So it is a must that I cherish every moment.

5. Working on decreasing my level of competitiveness

A little-known fact about me, I am super competitive. Not the cute kind of competitive where you strive hard to win but the kind where losing at a board game could mean a board flip and a trip to the bathroom to cry with frustration. Good times.

I always did better in races with people because I would compete against them or race them even if they didn't know we were competing.

This led to me not slowing down or taking breaks when I needed and potentially hurting myself.

This time I am focusing on the enjoyment (and piece I keep coming back to) instead of having to perform to get a great time. I am doing it with a friend and she has assured me that "it's okay if we even just walk it." I am striving to run as much as I can and work myself up to being okay with segments of walking.

My goal for it is to finish (you get a medal either way) and if I do well then that's great but as long as I finish I've reached my goal.

These are all really big steps for me. Even just typing them out makes me smile. I certainly have come a long way.

Everyone has a past. We cannot judge a book by its cover because we do not know what the pages say. So many people would have looked at me back then and thought I had it all; I was skinny, I had good grades, I was a great drummer and in charge of my section. From the outside, I looked just fine.

But that's the thing with mental health, often people get really good at hiding it even if inside their head they are begging for someone to notice.

Now I proudly eat a healthy and balanced plant-based diet, exercising is my therapy (I've done therapy before and go back when I feel I need to), I value my mental health enough to have boundaries, and at almost 30 after a car accident and a 55lbs weight gain as an introverted neurodivergent person, I am about to do another half-marathon.

I'm determined that my 30's are going to be my best years. I am going to make the most of them, they are going to be my prime. I wasted my 20's worrying about what I looked like and what others thought of me instead of what I wanted and what I thought.

I am running this half-marathon for me. 

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