A Story In Body Positivity. What Are Your 3 Words?

Let me ask you this; What are the three words that you would use to describe your body?

Make this very intuitive. No one will know but you so be honest. Are they positive words filled with love? Are they negative words filled with hate and shame?

If they aren't all rainbows and puppies then this blog is for you.

I'll tell you.... they have not always been positive words for me. Even still sometimes I find myself not being kind.

Right from a young age, we find that kids, especially girls fixate on their body and what it looks like. This fixation is starting younger and younger.

Think about it.... When did you start noticing and fixating on certain parts of your body?

I want to tell you a little bit about my story in body positivity.

I was like any other kid, fairly carefree until probably my pre-teens. Then all those comments about my physical appearance (or lack thereof) started having an impact on me.

I became uncomfortable when people started making it known that I was bigger and more developed than my sister, who was the same age as me. It was like she got to stay little for longer.

I was always a bigger size of clothing than her, I got a training bra and bra first, I got my 'time of the month' first, etc. It wasn't actually that I was bigger than her I was just taller than her. Tall and skinny but no one mentioned that.

I started to become self-conscious and wanted to fit in clothing and shoes that were too small for me.

When I got to high school, a different one than my sister, I tended to flock towards people who were bigger than me so that they would make comments about how small I was. Despite hearing a lot of these comments quite often I never believed that I was smaller than others. I always looked at the other girls, especially the ones on my field hockey team, and thought I was so much bigger than them.

This need to always be acknowledged as 'small' didn't get any better when I went off to university. I moved away from home, got a job, and went to school. I continued striving for those comments "wow you're so skinny," "you're like 90 pounds soaking wet," etc.

Once I moved to the city where I now reside to finish school things went really downhill. I lived off of berries and greek yogurt and tortilla chips. I exercised like crazy, I did a lot of running. I would measure parts of my body daily, often more than once a day and recorded them. But I still thought I was too big so I would only wear skirts and dresses to hide the parts of me that I hated.

When I started dating my boyfriend, now husband, I was insecure, weak, and self-sabotaging. But he stuck by me.

For most of our relationship, I struggled with anxiety, depression, self-love, feeling worthy, so on and so on. Eventually, I did come clean to him and it never phased him.

When I got in my car accident, November 2017, it put an immediate halt on my physical activity. It also dropped me deeper into mental health and I put on weight. One day I looked at a photo of myself and just cried. I realized I hadn't been big before but that didn't stop me from thinking I was big now.

So I started exercising, eating healthy, doing the right things and guess what? I didn't lose anything. I'd love to tell you that I had this incredible journey of self-discovery and self-love and all that but I didn't.

I remember thinking, just last year, "I'm in my late 20's. Am I just forever going to hate my body? Am I going to be in my 30's, 40's, even 60's crying because I think I'm fat?" I knew I didn't want that but I was afraid I was never going to stop hating my body.

I can't really put my finger on the moment when things began to switch. But it happened slowly and then all at once. I wouldn't say I'm "cured" or that I'm perfect and love myself all the time but recently I realized that I was okay.

On my wedding day was the first day I remember loving the way I looked. It was actually a big fear of mine that I would spend my wedding day hating my body and it would ruin what was supposed to be the best day of my life. But..... I didn't.

I actually spent the entire day..... Loving myself.

I was in love.
I was excited.
I was celebrating.
I felt beautiful.

From then on I have not been feeling like I hate my body. I'm not naive enough to think I'll never have that feeling again but right now I don't.

The other day I wrote my younger self a little love note. It was vulnerable to put write it and put it on the internet but I did it because it was such a great practice.

This is what I wrote:

To my dearest teenage self,

✨ You don’t even know what’s coming for you yet, you don’t know everything that is in store for you.

✨ You just need to get through a little bit more so you can see the beauty on the other side.

✨ I know you don’t like yourself or what you look like now but it’s coming. One day you’ll love yourself so much. One day you’ll feel beautiful.

Just wait.

✨ One day someone will walk into your life and see you the way you’ve never seen yourself and will show you how to see it.

✨ You are already beautiful sweet girl and don’t you worry, one day you will feel it too.

Keep going, beautiful girl. You are meant to do amazing things ❤️

It was signed with love.

Now here is my challenge to you. Do this too.

You don't have to put it on the internet but write your past self a love note. Write her only positive and wonderful things.

Tell her all the wonderful things she deserves, she is, and she will get as life goes on. Write from a place of "I am already worthy. I am already loved. I am already beautiful." Even if you don't believe these things, write from that place.

It won't cure you but it's a darn good start.

Now here's my message to you....

If you feel like you hate your body, you don't love yourself, you feel unworthy, etc. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

We are here with you. 

Every person who has ever looked in the mirror and thought they looked fat.
Every person who struggles with body dysmorphia (hello!)
Every person who had someone compare them to someone else.
Every person who was made to feel small because of their size.
Every person who was valued based on how they looked.
Every person who was made fun of because of how they looked or their size.
Every person who has ever felt like they were not good enough, not worthy enough.

Everyone....

We are all here and we are all worthy for simply being alive. Don't you forget that beautiful soul.

You are a magical being put on this earth for a reason. Remember that.

 So I ask you again... What are the 3 words you would use to describe your body?

Interested in learning more great Sustainability and Wellness tips and advice? Click here and I'll make sure you're the first to receive all the updates and valuable content I produce so you don't miss a thing!